And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hippo gnu deer
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
