living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
