went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
