My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
