alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
