so let's talk penis.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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