His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
