You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dick very happy bro
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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