Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
