Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
