She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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