The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
