i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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