K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
kristin has been a bad kristin
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
