one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
