whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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