I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
