I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
