If i come over, it means nothing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
