well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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