lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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