a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
