I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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