boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
