Umm I'm too high to move.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
porn star boner night. come get it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
