careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
