I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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