It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
