never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
