I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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