You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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