I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
