How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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