Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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