even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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