is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
