three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize