he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
