I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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