You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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