you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
