I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have post one night stand depression
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