He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
