so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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