K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
