Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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