not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
