you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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