So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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