So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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