it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
