I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize