Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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