your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
