everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
