piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
