dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
being pregnant is like rehab
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
