So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
