stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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