That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There was a lot of him and a little penis
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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