Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
