Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
